guys I'm depressed :(

(RL me : guys alvy here is seriously depressed as heck and um I'd rather not discuss it in public and all really )

But uh point is is um.....at the rate things are goin now um.......grandma ain't gonna be able to come back home at all really.

They say that well......her U.T.I. is gone and all and well.....something else has caused her to have severe mental problems and all and jusy flip out. She's only 70 years old too and itd just not happenin



Which means ya know other bad things could happen along the way



But ya know thats for my mother to worry about and please don't be like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? THATS YOUR GRANDMOTHER!!!!! "

because ALL THATS GONNA DO IS KEEP TRIGGERING EVEN DEEEPER ANGER AND HATRED I HAVE TOWARDS HER OFF onto here and everywhere else and I don't need that to happen at all :/


so ya know to me thats really not of my concern anymore to be honest

Its also due to my emotional problems and things like that


Honestly I really do not like it at all when my mother keeps playing 20 Q with me to beat outta my head the main reason about my emotional depression

is because of me and my G.F. and all


And the thing that makes me even more depressed and hurt each time thats brought up too is like she hates the way I tried to get my g.f.

She wanted it to be a reality thing

And THE CIONTROVERSY I keep running into about this too is like I keep telling her and other polite people

For me I am never gonna be the type of person that can do all that so easily

AND NEVER DO A THING AND KEEP FREEZING UP LIKE A BUCKET OF DARN ICE.

I am just not the kind of guy that has enough manhood to get up and say stuff to a love interest like that okay?????


I always want them to come to me cuz for me that helps


(PARDON MY FOUL LANGUAGE ON THIS TOO)

BUT I AM FUCKED UP AS WHALE SHIT OFF ALL OF THESE STRUGGLES RIGHT NOW TOO VERY DAMN FUCKED UP AS HELL and DEPRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!


CUZ WERE STRUGGLING


I AM BEGINING TO LOOSE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE NOW!!!!!!!!


AND STILL AT THIS MOMENT NO FREAKING COMMUNICATION AT ALL FROM MY G.F. AND I STILL CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY

maybe she's busy or whatever I never know anymore


I'M FALLING SO FAR APART ITS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE




Heck are we gonna darn do man??????


(no rude and controversially offensive comments please and thank you. Don't wanna fight people over this at all please and thank you )


I'm sooooooorrryyyyyyyy *cries*

and I don't like taking all the HATE BASHES FROM FAMILY OR OTHER PEOPLE FROM THIS EITHER IT HURTS SO MUCH